I think all this is going downwards, i feel pretty much worse every day, i get worse and worse panic attacks.. i don't know how long i will be able to stand it, last night i had an panic attack and i was seriously thinking about overdosing on my sleeping pills.. which i know can be very dangerous.. I don't know what, but it feels like somethings wrong, like somethings missing in my life.. 

I miss feeling joy.. the feeling of being happy for real.. i am that with him.. but without him.. i don't know what i would do.

.. He knows that i love him.. but i don't think he really undersands what he means to me.. how much he helps me when i feel sad..

 

I really just want to be happy. I really just wanna feel free, like nothing is there holding me back, chained to the wall. I just wanna be myself, i wanna be the old me, who always laughed.. i can bearly even remember the old me.. really.. i bearly can.

 

Can't things just go back to normal.. go back to the time where everything was fine.. cause it's all broken now .. an i mean it, everything is broken now...

 

I wish i could say it isn't.. but things is broken.. i can bearly see light anymore.. the dark room is getting darker and i don't know what i will do if he leaves me.. my light will be all gone by then.. i don't know how i will survive.. i can't..

 

 

~Prince